Either you're an aspiring author who simply loves to write and want to improve your craft through submission, critique and possible publication or you just want a free puppet. Either way, you're in the right place. We are now accepting script submissions for potential publication on our website. In simple terms, it's like this: If you write one we like, and we put it online, we'll give you a free puppet (up to $139 value). This will be an ongoing, monthly event until it isn't any more. But you know there has to be rules. NEW RULES ADDED. CLICK HERE (if you know the old ones). And there are! They are listed below. Read 'em and get busy.

This is Albert. BUY HIM HERE

Updated December 14, 2007

1. To be eligible for posting, your script must be saved as a Microsoft WORD file (.doc) or a Rich Text File (.rtf), attached to an
E-MAIL and sent to scripts@puppetproductions.com. And before all you MAC people start whining, an .rtf file can be generated by ANY word processor on ANY platform so don't be such babies. PLEASE PUT SOME BRIEF MESSAGE IN THE BODY OF THE E-MAIL SO WE KNOW YOUR SUBMISSION ISN'T A VIRUS. Unless it is a virus; in which case we don't want it. If the file comes in a format other than those indicated above (.doc or .rtf for you lazy bums with short memories), it will not be eligible for publication. We don't have time to transcribe your script. PLEASE run your spell check and then re-read the script to make sure you haven't simply correctly spelled the wrong word. Spell Check Poem

2. To be eligible for publication, your script must not require puppet types Puppet Productions doesn't make. It can have types that nobody makes, like a gift box or a flank steak or something. And it can have living human beings in it. But it can't have something like a dolphin or a dragon or a cow or a three-headed opera star (unless it includes instructions for making one from our puppets or living human beings) that some other puppet company sells. After all, we're the ones giving away the puppet. That's the least you can do. If you are unsure about which charcters are eligible, peruse our online catalog. You do not have to use Puppet Productions puppet character names but you are also welcome to write scripts specifically for any Puppet Productions' puppet characters if you wish.

3. To be eligible for publication, your script cannot contain rewritten lyrics to songs that are not in the public domain. In other words, if your script is built around the song Bohemian Rhapsody, for example, to which you have written new lyrics, we cannot publish your script owing to copyright laws. However, the same script written around She'll be Comin' 'Round the Mountain is just fine. To see if the song you have in mind is in the public domain, CLICK HERE.

4. We reserve the right to reject any script we do not feel is appropriate to/for our readers. Or that is in a language we can't read. Or that makes us feel uncomfortable in any way. Or that has too many "ors" in it. But we use a lot of those ourselves so, how many is too many?

5. We reserve the right to NOT publish any submitted script - even if it is the only one submitted in a given time period. In other words, when there is a script we feel is good enough to publish (meaning clever, intuitive, entertaining, etc., by our standards), we'll publish it. When there isn't, we'll publish something we already own. You'll have to trust us. We probably won't save up scripts much either. For example, if we get 218 great scripts in December (for January publication), we will most likely reject 216 of them. We might keep 2 - one to publish and one in case those that are submitted in January (for February publication) are terrible. And by the way, if your script is seasonal (Valentine's Day, Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.) and you actually want somebody to perform your script, send it in at least two months before the event to which it corresponds. For example, send your Christmas script in late September/early October so it can be published by November so teams will have a chance to get them ready for December. See? It's called lead time and everybody needs some. Don't send us a Christmas script in November or worse, December. It will simply be rejected. Same if it comes more than a couple of months early. That means that if you write and perform an exceptional script at Easter time, don't send it to us on April 15th. Save it until the following January or February (depending on whether Easter is in March or April). It's not rocket science.

6. All scripts must be original material written by you or your group. And you have to hold up your right hand and promise that you didn't steal it. To avoid confusion (and possible legal action - YIKES!), the free puppet will be awarded only to the author. When there are two or more authors, they'll have to share the one puppet. Yes, we know there are extenuating circumstances sometimes, but that's not our fault. One script, one puppet. That's how this deal works. Scripts will be selected near the end of a month for publication the next month. We can't be exact about how near the end of the month, but it'll be pretty near. Like the last day. Or the day before that. Maybe.

7. The published script becomes the exclusive property of Puppet Productions. That means, once we ship you your free puppet, your script is ours to do with as we will. Mwahahaha! That means that we may edit it, or add to it, or "punch it up." Who knows? But your name will stay on it and everyone will think you're a brilliant writer because of it so stop worrying already.

8. The author(s) of the selected script may choose ONE puppet from our catalog as payment for his/her/their script. He/she/they may select any puppet from our online catalog with a regular price of up to $139. And no, he/she/they can't pick two smaller puppets whose regular prices add up to $139. One script, one puppet. Weren't you listening at point 6? We'll e-mail you the instructions for how to order when we contact you about your script selection.

9. There are probably other rules we haven't thought of. But we will! So, the rule is, whatever rules are in effect when we select your script are the rules that will be in play. You probably should review them just before sending in your masterpiece to remind yourself how nit-picky we are about some things. And, if we want, we can cancel the whole program without notice. That's just to let you know who's really in charge here.

10. Look another rule! Please only send one script per month. If you send us two we'll just throw out one of 'em so do us all a favor and only send one per month. And don't forget to actually attach them when you send 'em. Silly.

11. MORE NEW RULES (added 11/30/06). Although this is really more of a guideline, it will be helpful if you make sure you format your scripts using the font Arial in size 9, 10, 11, or 12 with no more than 1.5 line spacing between lines. If you want to use a preformatted template, CLICK HERE to download it. If you don't want to use it, my feelings won't be hurt. I promise.