Un-BEAR-able Jokes for Kody

We have found that Kody works best when working with a human actor.  Some of the funniest moments can come when Kody tries to insert a pun into the regular script.  Here are a variety of puns for your use.  Take some time to integrate them into your own scenarios.

Kody: Take my picture! (hands person a camera)
Person: Why?
Kody: Well, this is a really special time and I want to remember it forever. 
Person: You don’t mean…
Kody: Yup, it’s a Kodiak moment!

Kody: Could you take this film and have it developed for me?  I was going to go myself, but then I remembered, I can’t go into the store BEAR chested.  You get it?  BEAR chested? See, I am a bear so I always have a BEAR chest but people have a bare chest when they aren’t wearing a shirt, but, and here’s the funny part, I’m not wearing a shirt either…

Here are a few more puns for Kody to use.  Remember, though the puns are all very simple and mostly only worthy of a groan or two, the funny part is when Kody goes to great lengths to explain the puns.  The more he explains, the funnier it can become.  Be sure to cut off his explanations quickly though.  After a few programs with Kody, the phrase, “You see, *I* am a bear…” will eventually get the most laughs. 

Kody: (looks around)
Person: Kody, are you alright?
Kody: Gimme’ a minute, I’m just getting my BEARings! (LAUGHS) Get it?  You see, I’m a bear, and sometimes looking around is called getting your bearings, but since I am a bear it’s kind of a joke you see…

Person: Kody, do you know how to sing?
Kody: Sure thing, I'm a BEARitone, you know.

Kody: I've been in a wedding or two.
Person: Oh yeah?
Kody: Sure.  Ring bearer, naturally.

Kody: How emBEARassing...

Person: Can you go get that for us?
Kody: I suppose, but I can BEAR-ly lift it!
Person: (sighs)
Kody: You see, I’m a bear and when someone has a hard time lifting something they usually say that they can barely…(interrupted)

Person: You know, we are all supposed to bear fruit.
Kody: Right, like love, joy, peace...hey, wait a second, was that a bear joke?  Cause I am the one who does the jokes.  You see, *I* am the bear.  Bear fruit isn't a bad idea though.  There's dragon fruit, jack fruit...yup there ought to be Bear Fruit.  I suggest the kiwi because they're hairy.

Person: Are you sure you want to do that again?
Kody: No, probably not, twice in a row would be un-BEAR-able!  You see, I’m a bear…

Kody: Now I need everyone to take off your shoes, go ahead, take them off!
Person: Kody!  Stop! Why are you telling everyone to take off their shoes?
Kody: Well, because I didn’t want to be the only one.
Person: The only one, what?
Kody: The only one with BEAR feet! Ha!  Get it, BEAR feet?  You see, I’m a bear...

Person: It’s been a great day, hasn’t it?
Kody: It sure has, in fact I can’t BEAR to see it end!

Kody: I am good at predicting the weather.  
Person: How so?
Kody: (points to self) Built in BEARometer!

Kody: I can BEAR-ly contain myself.

Person: I heard some friends of yours are going to have a baby.
Kody: Yup.  And I'll bet there is a child-BEARing joke in there somewhere.  I just am not quite sure how to phrase it.

Person: Could you look around there for some donuts?
Kody: No problem, I always have donuts on hand.
Person: You do? What kind?
Kody: BEAR CLAWS! (holds up both paws) 

Person: I’m sorry Kody, did I wake you up?
Kody:  Yeah, but that’s ok, I had just BEAR-ly dozed off.

Kody: BEAR with me for a moment…

Person: Are you sure that is true?
Kody: Do I look like I am lyin’?
Person: Oh, no. Of course not.
Kody: Good. (PAUSE) ‘Cuz I’m not a lion…I’m a BEAR!  (LAUGHS) You get it?  See…lyin’ sounds kind of like lion.  So, I said I’m not a lion I’m a BEAR. (LAUGHS)

Person: I can't bear this any longer.
Kody: Your tellin' me!

Write your own jokes!  Here is a good resource for coming up with puns.  All sorts of uses for the word “bear” are featured.  Much of the text here should jumpstart your brain for writing more puns and bear gags into your scripts.  (Remember, they don't have to have the word "bear" in them, they could also just be bear related.) 

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=bear

Be sure to also do a “Thesaurus” search as well.

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