PROFESSOR: (ENTERS AND BEGINS TO ADDRESS AUDIENCE) Today, I would like
to share a verse from the Bible with you. (HAMMERING NOISES BEGIN OFFSTAGE) What is that
noise? ... er, uh, it says ... it... it ... I just can't concentrate with that noise going
on. (LOOKS OFFSTAGE) What's going on? What's all that noise?
ROLAND: (FROM OFFSTAGE) Just a minute. I'm nearly finished!
PROFESSOR: Off in the distance I see Roland the Rabbit, building some
sort of weird contraption. Roland, hurry up and come out here! I'm anxious to find out
what that ... that thing is you're building.
ROLAND: (HAMMERING NOISES CEASE) There, I'm finished! (ENTERS STAGE) I
did it, Professor. I finished it! It's ready to run.
PROFESSOR: Well, that's wonderful, Roland, but what is it?
ROLAND: (POINTS OFFSTAGE TOWARD DIRECTION HAMMERING CAME FROM) That,
sir, is my new automatic carrot picker! Isn't it a beauty?
PROFESSOR: You mean you have built a machine that will automatically
pick carrots for you? How did you come up with such an idea?
ROLAND: Easy -- I bought the kit in a store, and put it together
myself. The kit had everything I needed, including step-by-step instructions. But I didn't
need them.
PROFESSOR: Oh, Roland! You mean you didn't follow the instructions?
ROLAND: Of course not! I'm a smart rabbit. I don't need instructions to
make a carrot picker.
PROFESSOR: But it looks like such a complicated machine! Let me take a
look at those instructions.
ROLAND: (EXITS AND RE-ENTERS QUICKLY, CARRYING AN INSTRUCTION SHEET)
Here you go. Maybe you’ll enjoy reading them, but I certainly had no use for them.
(HANDS THEM TO PROFESSOR) Rabbits are expert carrot pickers!
PROFESSOR: Oh, no! Just as I suspected! Listen to this first line on
the instructions: 'Caution: there is only one way to build this machine. No other way will
work. So be sure to follow the instructions carefully.' You shouldn't have built that
machine without following the instructions, Roland. I don't think you should even turn it
on!
ROLAND: Nonsense! Nothing can go wrong. Just watch while I start it up.
(EXITS. AS PROFESSOR WATCHES, MACHINERY NOISES BEGIN. INTERMINGLED ARE ROLAND'S FRANTIC
CRIES FOR HELP.)
PROFESSOR: (IN PANIC) Oh, poor Roland! I hope he knows how to turn it
off! Oh no! Oh no! (AFTER A MOMENT, NOISES CEASE) Roland, are you all right? Roland!
ROLAND: (SLOWLY ENTERS, GROANING) Oh, me. Oh, my! That carrot-picker
must need glasses. It almost picked me instead of the carrots! I wonder what could have
gone wrong?
PROFESSOR: I'll tell you what went wrong: you didn't follow the
instructions. There was only one way to build that machine; it said so right in the
instruction booklet.
ROLAND: You're right, Professor. Maybe I'll try building it again. But
this time, I'll follow the instructions! (EXITS)
